I think I’ve already established that I like boys.
A lot.
I used to think I was the kind of girl that could use a guy and be okay with it. Actually, I thought I could actually enjoy it. Every time I tried, though, things would either get really complicated or my conscience just wouldn’t let me do what I thought I wanted to do.
Also, I just wasn’t very good at being…promiscuous. I’m not exactly smooth enough to talk a guy into getting into bed with me.
I like to think that by God’s providence, my successes were very much few and far between. The few successes I did have weren’t nearly as fun or gratifying as I thought they would be. Total bummer, right? (Haha. Yeah, right.)
A little over a year ago, before I gave up running from Christ, I met a cute Christian boy who I would have loved to have violated. Shortly after, I had a one-night-stand with a guy whose bed I had no business being in.
A lot of other things outside the realm of boys happened, too, but those two things definitely contributed to pushing me back to the Cross. Recommitting my life to Jesus wasn’t the end of my guy-related woes, though. Sexual temptation would still prove to be an issue later on, and I would give in to it once or twice before finally deciding that enough was enough.
And so on February 28th, 2009, I decided that if I was ever going to get over all this crap, I needed to keep myself away from the source(s) of my temptations for a good while. A year seemed so far away at the beginning, but here I am–a year later–wondering where all that time went.