A few weeks ago, one of my friends dumped me.
At first I was sad. I blamed and crucified myself for allowing the friendship to fall apart.
Then I got angry. He dropped me when I was most vulnerable. What kind of friend does that?
Then I would try to push it out of my mind. No use in gathering regret for the things I can’t change now.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
According to Lizabeth, my mentor, that’s what the typical grieving process is like. Different emotions are evoked each time when revisiting events that lead to the death of someone/something.
It was no secret that I was emotionally invested in the guy. I had been for a long time. After all, 7 years is a long time to know someone. We were comfortable with each other. We had fun with each other.
Looking back on it all, though, I also feel little used…and perhaps unfairly toyed with.
But despite how…crappy I can feel at times, the silver lining still shines brighter than the mushroom cloud.
[ image from wikipedia ]
by Vy on 17 December 2009
Actually, my semester ended two days ago. All sorts of interesting things happened during that past few months.
I made new friends.
I reconnected with old friends.
I went through a “I’m-not-sure-if-I-want-to-major-in-this” crisis. Yes, I’m sticking with healthcare management.
I finally learned what it’s like to be a part of Christian community/family.
I had an Indian professor who actually knew how to teach well. It was the most glorious accounting class ever.
I resisted the temptation of jumping the first guy who told me he thought I was cute (yeah, I still have that problem).
I learned the joys of almond butter.
I am one semester closer to graduation and grad school. Dang.
I learned what it’s like to actually collaborate with people on group projects.
I baked more cookies and cake this semester than I ever have.
I had less money this semester than I ever had.
And last but definitely not least, God grew me in a lot of different ways. Or at least that’s what I’m told.
Yet, I feel like hardly any time as passed at all nor have I changed one bit.
[ image by zaveqna ]
by Vy on 16 December 2009
When I was nine years old, my mom went with this old man to translate for him at a diagnostic imaging appointment. For some reason, she had to bring me with her.
He couldn’t see very well. His son had to fill out all the paperwork for him. When it came time for the old man to sign, someone would have to point his finger to the signature line.
I remember asking my mom, “If he can’t see, why does he wear glasses?”
My mom laughed. ”Vy asked why you wear glasses if you can’t see.”
For a moment, I was horrified. It seemed awfully insensitive to say that out loud.
The old guy laughed, too. ”I think they make me look more handsome. Don’t you?”
[ image by Andrew Huff ]
by Vy on 28 November 2009
I have had a total of three jobs, each one being less fancy then the one before.
My first job was working the front desk at the doctor’s office. Held that one down for about four years.
The second job was working the front counter at a LAN center at a mall here in Charlotte. It was pretty chill, but I only stuck around for a month and a half.
Now I’m bussing tables at a Chinese restaurant here in Rock Hill. I’ve gotta say, it’s not that bad. In fact, I kinda like it. My coworkers are pretty fabulous and I don’t have to interact with customers more than I really want to. Sure, the job has its…quirks, but that was to be expected.
This job has been a lesson in patience, humility, and simply enjoying what God’s provided me with. It also feels like I’m properly paying my dues for once. It’s kinda nice.
[ image by laverrue ]
Ya know, I’ve been wanting to write here about my journey with Christ thus far, but it’s been really difficult for me to do that since I always feel like I’m failing. I mean, I could write about my failures, but that’s all I’d be writing about. Ever.